Friday, 1 May 2020

Board Game Support Group


Carl: Hello everyone, please welcome Gary to the group. He could use our support.

Group: Hi Gary!

Gary: Like all of you, I buy too many board games. They're sitting in shrink wrap on shelves.

Group: Nodding approval.

Gary: But I'm mostly trying to sell them to you folks, as a retailer.

Group: Disapproving grumbling.

Gary: But often at a discount, because they sell like crap.

Group: Murmuring with approval.

Gary: You see, as someone whose mostly a role player, I tend to buy board games that interest me. Really complex stuff that makes my brain tingle. But I don't play them. As my friend Jay says, a good day board gaming is still not as good as a bad day role playing. You know, like the sex and pizza metaphor.

Group: Angry grumbling. Several female hands go up.

Vijay: They can't all sell badly, what about Terraforming Mars with its eight point four on bee gee gee?

Gary: Yes, Vijay, even Terraforming Mars with its eight point four. Where did you buy your copy Vijay?

Vijay? (Sheepish) Amazon.

Gary: Yes, Amazon. You don't need me and I shouldn't be catering to you.

Carl: I bought my Terraforming Mars at your store!

Gary: Oh, when was that Carl?

Carl: At your Black Friday Sale.

Gary: Right, on clearance. *cough* vulture *cough*

Carl: What was that?

Gary: Anyway, this is my first day vowing to order games only for our casual customers, the ones who actually buy from us. People who allow us to sell them games through our demos and our enthusiasm.

Carl: So no more high concept bee gee gee picks?

Gary: No Carl, no more complex board games. Which even at their best, aren't as good as a bad night of D&D. Or you know, sex and pizza.

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